Grandmother's story...

CNY in Muar.. grandma's kampong house.. is wooden! ah!
Hospital.. Granny admitted into specialist 'cos she fell down during xmas...
This incident really create much upheavel in the entire families.. & definitely many emotional ties are complicated..

Why does any old folk have to go through "live, old, SICK, die" ????
Why have to fall SICK???
I still remember my grandfather who left us though suddenly but with utmost dignity & respect!!
Why any old folk has to lose their dignity [WHICH THEY TOOK THEIR WHOLE LIFE TO BUILD!!] in a moment of accidentally falling or slipping and causing them to be bed-ridden or get stroke or heart attack?????

Isn't this the most greatest irony of the century??

Cos it happens to everyone!! including you when reading this!!

Long ago (already been 2 years and 2months ago).. i remember is on Jan 4, 2004!! That night was my first time to hear about a very very close friend's Grandma's story.. i kept silent throughout the whole 20-30mins.. only to find that my tears has just fallen..

At that moment, i felt sad; i felt bad; i felt Sorry for Him and Her Only!

i vaguely remember the story..i will share what i recall...

if i am not wrong, Then, he was in his Sec sch.. He was a young happy boy, ok in his studies & playing cards and marbles everyday after school...
Yet one faithful day when he reached home.. the house was in an unusually quiet and solemn mood.. (unusual as imagine the tiny flat housed 3-4 families and the number of aunts and uncles & cousins around..ok..can't imagine? is something like visiting your relatives on CNY.. yah..)

Even his lunch was packed rice instead of the usual 4 dishes & 1 soup... His mom & aunts tearing...

he walked into his granny's room to find her as usual, laying on the bed but this time round, with very many machines and wires hogging her tiny body..

"Nai Nai", so he called her.. any replies? No..
"Nai Nai" again.. No replies still..

"Sshh.. don't disturb her..she's resting.." from an aunt's voice..

"what happened?" worried & shocked little voice asking..

"Nai Nai got stroke.. so, she can't move now... have to rest in bed"
this sentence floated into his conscious mind..
yet down deeper, his mind was in a hailstorm..

'Stroke? what on earth is stroke? any healing method? is it forever?
can't move now.. can't move in future?
can't move.. does it also mean can't talk, can't walk, can't smile, can't eat?????'

million and one questions swirling around in his mind..
his little world seems to swirl as well.. only his granny's face locked in his memories..

From that day onwards, His Eldest Uncle's Wife took on the role of looking after Nai Nai.. day in day out... she is by her side, responding to any of her request and also, her daily washing, eating and drinking...
that was endless for her... she was tired.. but she carried on.. she was exhausted.. but she pushed on.. till she herself fell sick too... first with slight flu and fever and pains in her body.. check up.. and found the worst news ever...

Contracted Cancer.. So, there went her ability to take care of Nai Nai..
Once again, the family had to live through the pains of sharing the bad news.. and also sharing of the burden from the hefty medical bills.. and the hard fact that
she might be leaving soon..

And this responsibility falls onto 2nd Uncle's Wife..

Not long after Eldest Uncle's Wife knew of the disease and the chemotherapy and medication, she passed away..

Nai Nai teared..

Probably is a result of the exhaustion or from the negativity that one had to face every moment from the sickly, 2nd Uncle's Wife too could not escape and she too was confirmed to have contracted cancer..

Thrice in a row, the family had to endure..

Next came the 2 Daughters of Nai Nai to shoulder the burden of looking after their weak mom..

Soon, the second pass away occur..

Nai Nai teared again... this time needing more energy..

2 Daughters then were in the peak of their youth.. they should be granted the freedom to party, socialise, shop, travel, basically to enjoy themselves because they are still young..

But because of their mom, they stayed home.. they took turns to look after her and to rest..

Not too long later, the third pass away occur..

This time, Nai Nai wet the whole bed..

Her heart, her soul, her mind, her world crashed in an instant..

She can't even sit up to see him for the last time..

Ye Ye (grandpa) left her alone in this world to fight in the battle against a disease..

After been lacked of comforts from her life-time soul mate, she left quietly one night finally..

From the day Nai Nai had stroke till the day she finally left, the whole family experienced a very heart-broken 2 years!

In this 2 years, a disease claimed with her 2 lives of her daughters-in-laws, her own soulmate and the youth of 2 of her own daughters..

If you too is the young teenager boy, at that age, how would you feel?
If you are one of them who took up the responsibility to look after Nai Nai,
how would you feel?
If you are Nai Nai, how would you feel?
Bad? apologetic?

I guess no one can understand how she felt when she was like a silent snipper.. a very silent & motionless one..

Is it Nai Nai's fault?

or "Live, Old, Sick, Die"?
(Fyi, is a simple 4 worded phrase that us the chinese use to describe Life.)

Which is the most heart pain process?
To see your dearest kin Live? Old & age? Pass away peacefull? or be tortured by sickness?

Under the arms of strange foreign machines, in cold hospital wards, waiting patiently and dearly for the doctor whom you DO NOT even recall the university he/her graduate from?

isn't this amazing how us trust people in white coat?

haven't we been taught since young not to trust STrangers?

So, by just being in a coat with a stethoscope hanging over the shoulder, walking around in a cold damp place, this we TRUST????

how many times have they told us to do things that they don't do????
TONS! like Panadol!

A colleague of mine very recently was checked to have haemorrhage or whatever..
and missy found that he had slight fever & what do they give him? >panadol
i will be fine with it if doc themselves take panadol as well.. but the fact is they don't...
{if you aren't convince, grab a friend doc to ask them!!}
why? 'cos personally they know is not good for body! but what happen is that the
Medicine textbook that they are taught to memorise for at least 7 years told them,
fever eat panadol!

don't believe and pls go find the reasons for and against eating panadol yourself!!

Anyway, conclusion is after my own granny is bed-ridden, i suddenly realise how how how negative negative and inconsiderate inconsiderate my relatives are!

Tears & sadness loom around the whole family..

i really found this inner 'BU SHUANG!!' in myself!

just a very very extremely strong strong sense of INJUSTICE!!

why have to be sick?
why no solution?

if there is a way, will you take it up?
if can, will you try?

answer is No! right? 'cos the Cost is high...

not only on monetary but also on the inertia to change..

why think so much??

remain simple minded..

if is good, try!
if is not good, but may help, try!

*last note: the 2 daughters still remain unmarried as of today*