hhmm.. i seriously feel so... just imagine a girl at height of 150++, weight hovering around 60kg..
where comes the confidence... and that was at the teenage times of 16y.. at jc times... not those youth-gone a-ma..
what can i say then... *hah*...
In that My-JC-Time era, remember Southpark? yah... one of my fave cartoon (not for those %#$@!^ but for the cutie look.. all round round and nerdy nerdy looking...
*sometimes i can't help but believe strongly that what your brain can perceive, you can achieve*
Because one day, dear friend of mine Mr K-H-Y & me had this conversation..
KHY: why do you like Southpark, esp Kenny so much?
Me: cos they are cute lor...
KHY: Wah.. infact, you like them too! head round round, body round round..
Have you ever had a lightning struck on your head??? yah.. that's the feeling... Have you ever eaten shit??? yah.. that's the feeling... Have you ever got thrown down from Equinox and crash your way down to the road and be run over by a construction Caterpillar brand yellow truck??? yah.. that's the feeling...
What was my initial reaction? of course.. you idiot-spastic-crazy-PIG!
How dare you say that to your friend???
i want to blurt out what ever fxxk and sxxt words... but that was evening time in school which was turning dark and everyone else is mugging in their books... i kept silence...
i was thinking... sadly... i went home...on bus 36 to changi then change bus to pasir ris...
i teared...
what happened to the cutie and slim figure that i used to have when dancing ballet at age 5? where is the "xiao mei ren" title that all the aunts and uncles used to call me? where is the short and flowery skirt and pinky dress with my long black and shiny hair and the innocent & friendly eyes that got so many little sons of my uncles came playing with me?
why did all the goodies in my life left me?
did i used up all the 'xin fu' in my life and be left with this down-trodden, fat and ugly outer casing with in fact no content, other than the element tables, the GP essay, the alogorithm table?
i couldn't get even with myself... and i reallly agree that upon looking back at old photos, who would want to befriend such ugly people?
come to think of it... haha... what happen to you Conrad??
How could you have chosen to be my friend?
haha... omg... think the destiny, faith anything, is treating me better and better with the plans in my life... but before i succumb to living like a pig all day long waiting for larger-being to give something or do something to my life, i really believe how much you are willing to contribute and don't think of the rewards, your life will be rewarded!
Just the last weekend, many amazing ladies and gentlemen attended this life changing seminar...
Picture of the Ace Team... See the joy & fun in our faces!!
We went to grace the graduation - Appreciation Night - ytd...
Many tears and hugs were exchanged...
I love you Daddy and Mummy!
i was hugging Zhi Yuan (my en-shi = mentor's 7 mth son) sleeping soundly in my arms at 11pm on the 25th of May 2006 despite the loud and dancing music in the background...
i was talking to him.. sending messgaes into his subcon... and i was not only telling but describing to him how great his Daddy and Mummy are! how have they chosen to spend so much time with so many people and changing their lives... They are great and so will you, Zhi Yuan!
(one day when you have grown up and reading this passage, call me if you need me to repeat this part of the story!) Zhi Yuan, Do your Daddy and Mummy Proud!!
And at the same time, i was listening to the ending segment of 84th SCS!
GPD Henry was sharing on stage that many were encouraged to call up their daddy and mummy to say "i love you" in the earlier part of the day...
my phone was right in front of me and without thinking too much, time was 11.40, dad's still awake, i called his handphone.. and it rang... he picked up and i went.. tearing!! and in the midst, "I LOVE YOU"...
what was his reaction? "Where are you??? TELL ME, WHAT HAPPEN!!"
i regained my composure and said, i was at SCS... in WBG.. i am safe, nothing's wrong.. everything's fine.. the speaker said call home and say i love you, so i did.. i love you..
and he said the most touching words...
"daddy knows.. daddy knows.. Daddy loves you too.. "
speechless... touched... tears of joy...
1 single call...
2 different countries...
3 simple word...
= many touches to heart & exchange of love...
Say it to your mum and dad or whoever...
I love many people... many many people... =)
'Contribute without asking for repayment! Pay this love forward!"
Touching hearts,
**=-fanny-=**
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